Mom and Dad, you are my parents. You do a fantastic job in this field. Someday, I shall buy you a horse-drawn carriage, perhaps with horses. [X]

Young Benjamin Guy, fair Emmy Suzanne, and rock'em sock'em Leah Warring, you are my siblings and for this I thank you. Your years of service as genetically similar housemates have paid off in spades. Literal gardening spades. [X]

Dear Chloe, I hope you dig this album. I wrote a bunch of it while we were dating! I wrote even more of it after we broke up, but, er, I don't think it shows. [X]

Dear Natalia, you've provided much appreciated commentary and critique throughout the creation of this album. This is the extent of the credit I will give you. Unless you want me to tell people you were actually the second voice in "Knife Fight". [X]

Dear Julie, without your steady hands, "The Mysterious Ticking Noise" would've been down a puppet or two, and I would likely have no YouTube award to shine daily. I thank you. [X]

Master Aaron, I look forward to once again collaborating with you, be it in the realm of rap or melodica. Until then I will wear your face proudly. [X]

Dear Ryan, thanks for driving me around a lot and helping with a lot of my movies, and for generally urging me to get this album out. Thank you also for teaching me the wonders of the "Papa Beaver's Storytime" Wikipedia article. [X]

Professor Kevin, your flims are an inspiration, you're a joy to collaborate with, and I personally believe that you can take credit for the defeat of HD DVD. [X]

Captain Patrick, no matter what they say, I know you're still out there, policing the sea. I've sent you a message in a bottle, I hope you receive it. [X]

Dear Jules, keep doing what you do, take care of my camera, and remember: Crack is Whack. [X]

Dear Jake, you inspire, and I think you know this, but it should be said. You inspire. Never give up your quest for teeth, and always go along with Ryan's terrible ideas. [X]

Dear Spencer, you boy, you precious boy. I see you. With my eyes. Is that getting old yet? [X]

Good old Max, when are you coming back to my house? You left blood last time, at least I think it's blood, and I've left it there for you to clean up. [X]

Uncle Monsterface, you wondrous thing you, I always enjoy your shows, which are like hurricanes of dynamite. And major props to you Marty, for nearly defeating me in knife to knife combat. Nearly. [X]

Math the Band, you folks completely redefined my concept of stage presence, and your music tramples heads in a fantastic way. You also brought back the Macarena, in my mind. [X]

Lima Research Society, if there were such thing as an actual barrel of fun, you would be in it. I can't wait to hear you folks again, and to wave a juice box in the air like I just don't care (though in reality I do very much care, especially about the juice box.) [X]

Harry and the Potters, you are an unstoppable force, rocking and reading and raising the bar for all Wizard Rock. Magic may not be real (key-word "may") but your powers are as real as the realest tangible object in existence. For reals. [X]

Dear Alora my bassist, "Choo-choo" Charles my guitarist, Tony my drummer, and Dave my sometimes-other-guitarist: Thank you for accompanying me to many a venue in the glorious name of "rock and roll." You guys have helped me have some of the best fun of my life. Let's have a three second jam session in our own honor. [X]

What did my fans ever do for me? Buzz off. [X]